Poker causes Pregnancy Oneshot
by picabone99
Summary: YAOI MPREG The Soul Society has made peace with the remaining Espada after the war and has designated Urahara's shoten neutral ground.  Neutral doesn't mean safe though.


Takes place a few years after the war and Ichigo has regained his powers. The Seireitai has made peace with Huecho Mundo using the vizards as go betweens and the living world is neutral territory. Especially Urahara's shop.

**Disclaimer:**Absolutely don't own bleach. If I did, there would be a ton of wardrobe malfunctions.

**WARNING:**Contains Yaoi and future MPreg. You've been warned. Bya x Renji and Grim x Ichi NO Dub-con or Non con

It was just another poker night at Urahara's shoten, at least that was how it started. Little did Ichigo or Renji know that before the night ended they would be slightly different than how they awoke that morning.

Ichigo was the last one to show up for the game that night. He had been drafted by his father to help out in the clinic since Yuzu and Karin were involved in the school's production of Shakespeare's _A Midsummer's Night Dream_. The girls were now attending Ichigo's old school and were doing very well. Karin was the star soccer player for the school and was being scouted by numerous univerisities. Yuzu was the darling of the school and had boys, and some girls, confessing their love to her on a regular basis. Since the girls had been so busy lately, Isshin was lacking the help he normally relied upon and managed to lay a major guilt trip onto Ichigo.

Ichigo was a go-between, along with the rest of the Visards, between the living world, the Soul Society, and Heuco Mundo. The Visards had divided themselves into groups and worked for one week, then took two weeks off, and then worked as support for the on-call group for one week, until it was time to start the cycle all over again. When Ichigo had his two weeks of free time, he normally spent it hanging out with his friends in one of the three worlds, or training with whoever was available. Ichigo rarely came to the house during his time off; instead, he would meet his sisters after school let out and take them to a movie or out to a coffee shop to talk. His job paid well so he enjoyed being able to treat his sisters from time to time. Ichigo didn't stay at the house anymore, since he was always on the go: he would just grab a bed wherever one could be found. In the Soul Society, Ichigo would stay at Byakuya's mansion or the 11th division barracks, in the real world, Ichigo would most often find a bed with the Visards or Urahara, and in Los Noches, Ichigo had been given permanant use of a guest room, just like the rest of the Visards.

Isshin jumped all over Ichigo, crying and making a fuss about not seeing his "beautiful baby boy", when he appeared that night and since the clinic was almost over-flowing, Ichigo agreed to stick around and lend a hand. As a consequence, the game was already in play when Ichigo was finally able to turn up.

Now, this game wasn't what was supposed to be occurring. The Shinigami, Visards, and Arrancar were, according to the peace treaty that had been signed, required to meet every two weeks and air greivances and discuss any new rules and regulations that might have been passed in the meantime. The parties involved all agreed that the living world would be nuetral territory and designated Urahara's shop as the meeting place. Everything worked normally for the first few meetings when everyone was still getting used to the idea of the treaty, but after that, people would stay after the actual meeting and start playing poker. Eventually, people started skipping the meeting and just showed up at the end of the meeting to talk and play poker. As the novelty wore off, only a handful of people contiued to show up for the meetings. And so, what began as a way to foster peace and cooperation, became a way to talk smack and win money.

When Ichigo slid the door open and entered, he saw the usual gang was all there.

Urahara had the deal at the moment, Byakuya was sitting next to him, then Renji, the open place where Ichigo usually sat, but was being filled at the moment by Tessai, Grimmjow, Hallibal, Shinji, then Yorouchi, and finally, back to Urahara again. Starrk always came to the games as well, but he just used the time to sleep without Lilnette interrupting him.

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, but Goat-face needed help in the clinic tonight. He was swamped with cases for some reason. I was going to leave him to fend for himself, but he majorly guilt-tripped me by pointing out that he hadn't seen me for over a month, so I caved in."

Kisuke waved a hand lazily in his direction. "Ah, it's good to see you Ichi-chan. Don't worry about your tardiness, Tessai was sitting in for you. We'll take a break after this hand and deal you in when we sit back down again."

"Thanks Urahara." Ichigo shrugged off the light jacket he was wearing and hung it up, before entering the rest of the way into the room. Grabbing a coke, Ichigo moved to stand behind Grimmjow and leaned over to look at his cards. "WOW! Five Aces! How did you manage _that_, Grimmjow?"

"Damnit, Ichi-bitch! Just wait yer turn. Ya can be dealt in next hand like Urahara said. Now keep yer mouth shut," Grimmjow snarled.

Ichigo just smirked at him in return, then went over to where Starrk was laying on the couch. Nudging Starrk with his knee, Ichigo managed to make Starrk move enough for him to sit down. Ichigo didn't say anything to the Espada though, since he hadn't woken up when Ichigo touched him.

"Kuchiki-san, the bet is in your hands. Please fold,call, or raise."

"Hmmm...I will raise, Urahara-san." After Byakuya tossed in his money, the others still in the hunt for the pot quickly called and tossed in their own money. When all the cards were finally laid on the table, Grimmjow ended up winning. Ichigo had only cracked a slight joke when he commented on the five Aces. Turns out, Grimmjow had four of them.

Ichigo enjoyed listening to the groaning that accompanied Grimmjow's taunts as he raked in his winnings. Letting out a snicker, Ichigo rose back off the couch and wandered over to where Renji and Byakuya had gathered around the snacks' table.

"Hey Pineapple, hey Byakuya. How's Rukia doing? I haven't seen her lately."

"Bite me, Strawberry."

"Greetings Kurosaki-san. Rukia is well," Byakuya stated, shooting his partner a dissapproving glance because of his comment. "The reason Rukia is unavailable lately is because I have given her permission to attend a fashion show staring Ishida Uryu. He has become very busy with his new fashion line and they have had little time to be together lately. I have given him permission to court my sister, and this will allow them some time to further expand their relationship and knowledge of one another."

Renji rolled his eyes and made a face at Ichigo from behind Byakuya at his pompousness. Ichigo was hard put not to snicker at the expression Renji made, but was able to hold it in because as self-important as Byakuya could sound sometimes, he had made some real progress in being a good brother to Rukia. Letting her date Ishida was one way he showed his affection for Rukia. Although, Ishida did have to come to Byakuya and ask formal permission to "court" Rukia before he would give his blessings.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I have something I need to discuss with Starrk."

After Byakuya wandered off, Ichigo sidled a bit closer to Renji and asked,

"So, how has everything been going since you two came out as a couple? I know that the two of you have been together for a couple of years now, but you had been keeping it private."

"Everyone's been real supportive of us. From what I've heard, almost tha entire Gotai-13 thought it was time for Byakuya to stop grieving over Hisana an' move on with his life. Tha problem has been tha Kuchiki Council of Elders. They don't approve of me on several levels. I'm not a noble, I'm from Rukongai, an' Byakuya won't be able ta have kids as long as he an' I are together. The Elders keep pushing Byakuya ta marry a princess from another clan an' have heirs ta his title."

"Well shit...that bites Renji. Still, what do a bunch of assholes matter. You two are happy, so screw the lot of them." Ichigo ran his hand through his hair and let out a sigh. Looking around, Ichigo noticed that Urahara had disappeared. "That's odd, where's Hat'n'Clogs? He doesn't normally let breaks last this long before he's calling everyone back to the table."

"He said he wanted ta get something special from his private stash. He wanted ta propose a toast ta me an' Byakuya coming out, an' a belated toast ta Hallibel an' Starrk's matin', but I said ta wait for ya ta get here. Seems like everyone's pairing off lately. There's only a handful of single people anymore. Hell, even Ikkaku an' Yumichika are finally startin' to appear at shit as a couple."

Kisuke was indeed busy retrieving something special from his private stash at this moment in time. However, the private stash he had referred to was in fact where he kept the results of several years of reseach and testing. Urahara had at one point many, many years ago, gotten into a deep and theoretical discussion involving spirit particles, gigais, reiatsu, and using the three to allow men to carry offspring. It had been an amazing discussion and Urahara had decided to see if any of it was feasible. So he spent years researching and experimenting in the Soul Society before his exile and when he had heard that the Elders of Byakuya's clan hadn't accepted Renji and were pushing a marriage on Byakuya instead, Urahara brushed off his almost complete research and worked on it intensly for a few months. Now, Urahara was ready to reveal the results of his work. He grinned in triumph as he held up the small vial that was the end product, then furrowed his brow in thought. The potion was surprising sweet and he didn't what to ruin the surprise so he needed something to serve as a delivery system that would mask the taste. Kisuke's face cleared up as he remembered the decantor of plum brandy he had stashed away for special occasions. Slipping the vial into his sleeve, he grinned in triumph on the way to grab the brandy.

Urahara swung by his room and retrieved the brandy on his way back to the game room. When he entered the room, he spotted Tessai putting down a fresh tray of snacks. "Tessai, please go fetch enough cups for everyone," Urahara held up the decantor in his hand. "I'm sorry it took me awhile to find this, but I thought plum brandy would be an exellent way to toast the happy couples." 'And hide the potion', Urahara thought to himself. 'Now I just have to pour the contents into Renji's glass and let nature take it's course. I know the potion only takes effect for 24 hours, but I'm sure those two can't keep their hands off each other when they finally have some privacy. If there's no sign of pregnancy by the next meeting, I'll just have to be more direct in my approach.' Urahara smiled when he saw Tessai returning, carrying a large tray filled with small snifters.

"Ah, yes. Arigato, Tessai-san. Perfect." Tessai set the tray down in front of Urahara and backed away, leaving room for Urahara to easily reach all the glasses with the bottle. As Kisuke was removing the stopper from the decantor, Yorouchi returned to the room. She had left to use the restroom and only now made it back. When Yorouchi saw Urahara with the decantor in his hand, she knew it was from his private stock and would be exceptional quality. She also knew Urahara wouldn't pour out more than necessary if he could help it. Yorouchi let a broad grin spread across her face; she knew Urahara would pour more if he was distracted. So she would provide a distraction.

"Hmmm," Yorouchi hummed as she finished stepping into the room. "All the people in the room seems to have raised the temperature. It's just so _hot_ in here suddenly." As she spoke, Yorouchi was pulling her top off and began swinging it around her fingers. Yorouchi saw nothing wrong with causing a distraction by stripping down, she knew she had a smoking hot body. After all, she had worked hard to get her body to such perfection. Yorouchi also knew that of the six males in the room, Shinji was bi, but being hunted by Hiyori, Starrk was taken(and asleep), Byakuya and Renji were a couple, Tessai and Ichigo would blush and look away, and Grimmjow was hot, but not interested in her having already turned her down once a year ago. No, this show was entirely for Kisuke and the amazing alcohol he was holding.

Kisuke gaped at Yorouchi then noticed that everyone else was distracted by her. Seeing his chance, Kisuke pulled the tiny vial out of his sleeve and uncapped it. Just as he was moving it into position to pour it into one of the glasses, Kisuke heard a gasp from Shinji and looked up. He never noticed that his hand had twitched out of position over the glass and was now pouring the contents of the vial directly into the decantor of brandy. Kisuke's mouth dropped open as he fumbled the vial back into his sleeve and began pouring the brandy out. Kisuke had seen Yoruichi naked before but he never realized how _flexible_ she was. Kisuke barely payed any attention to the glasses he was filling, all he did was ensure that the brandy didn't spill out the top as he kept most of his attention on the dancing Yoruichi was doing. Kisuke drew in a shuddering breath at one move she did before looking down at the tray and noticing all the glassed had been filled.

"Um...I wo-would," Kisuke paused for a moment and cleared his throat. "I would like to propose a toast to the happy couples." Kisuke handed out the glasses, making sure the Renji recieved the one nearest to Kisuke. Kisuke drew a deep breath and noticed the furious blushing on some faces and the absolutely dazed expressions on others. He also noticed the triumph on Yorouchi's face as she was handed an almost over flowing glass of brandy.

"Blessings and congratulations to new friends and old friends as they begin a new life together with their loved one." Kisuke raised his glass in the air and took a sip. Everyone else followed suit with their own glass. After the toast was done, Kisuke sat back down in his chair and smiled.

"Well then, shall we continue with our little game of chance?"


End file.
